Snowed in at the Practice Page 17

  ‘Hi, Jess,’ Holly said. ‘How’s the training going?’

  Jess’s face lit up. ‘He’s so clever, Dr Graham. He’s completely house trained and he walks to heel, even without his lead rein. And yesterday he lay down when I asked him to.’ Even though one side of her face was still oddly immobile following her accident, there was an animation there now, in her eyes, that Holly hadn’t seen in a long time.

  ‘He’s just adorable, Jess,’ said Holly, submitting to a thorough snuffling from Banana. ‘He’s the perfect size, isn’t he? The ultimate in portable ponies; you could take him anywhere.’

  A shadow crossed Jess’s face. ‘Well, not anywhere. The stupid school Mum’s organised for me won’t let him come too. If he was an eventer or a show pony then no problem. It’s why I was going to go there to begin with . . .’ She paused. ‘They just can’t see that he’s more useful than any competition horse and I can’t be tutored at home for ever. I’ll go mad.’

  ‘Can’t you just say he’s your emotional support horse?’ Elsie chimed in, half-joking.

  ‘I’ve tried that,’ said Jess. ‘I even made a video diary for the Headmistress so she could see how much he helps me, but she said it would be the “start of a slippery slope” or something. Stupid woman, stupid school.’

  There was a hint of her mother’s petulance in Jess’s tone, but Holly could actually see her point. ‘Maybe we should ask Alice or Jamie what to do. I mean, if anyone in Larkford knows about support animals, it would be them, yes? Maybe there’s some rule we can exploit?’ She couldn’t honestly say why she felt so strongly about this, after all, it was a bit of a reach, wasn’t it? Taking a miniature horse to school? And in all honesty, if she hadn’t seen the enormous stress and turmoil Jess had been through over the last year and the huge strides she’d made in the last few weeks, then she probably wouldn’t have believed it herself – Banana should really be available on the NHS. He certainly deserved a little status.

  Elsie rummaged in her pocket and pulled out a packet of Polo mints. ‘Is he allowed one?’ she asked Jess.

  Jess nodded. ‘But he has to earn it. Here, let me show you.’ She took one of the mints and knelt down beside Banana. ‘Hug,’ she said, and to Holly and Elsie’s absolute amazement, he turned his head and cradled Jess’s fragile body against his shoulder with his neck.

  Even as he held her, his whiskers snuffled into her hand for the mint.

  Even after his treat though, he stayed put, nickering gently and affectionately.

  Holly felt the tears well up in her eyes and noticed Elsie was in the same predicament.

  Elsie, of course, was not one for hiding her feelings. ‘Oh, for the love of God, you can’t go to any school that won’t allow him to go with you!’

  ‘Elsie!’ admonished Holly. ‘That’s not really helpful,’ she whispered forcefully.

  ‘Well, it’s true,’ said Elsie bluntly. ‘And why do you need to go away to boarding school anyway, when there’s a perfectly good one in Larkford?’ Elsie said, only serving to throw oil on the flames of Jess’s brewing rebellion. ‘Holly seems to have Mr French’s ear, Jess, why don’t we ask him if he’ll allow an emotional support horse in his classroom?’

  Jess’s eyes grew huge with possibility. ‘Do you think he’d listen to you, Dr Graham? Even a year would be enough to let Banana prove himself before we went anywhere to board.’

  Holly breathed out, so uncertain of her role these days. Was she advising as a friend, a neighbour, a doctor? And was she actually prepared to risk Lavinia’s wrath by wading into the debate uninvited?

  ‘I tell you what, Jess,’ Holly said after a moment, ‘why don’t I have a chat with Charlotte and Jamie about how one might go about making Banana’s role official. I’m not sure your mum would like you basing your choice of school on this, but it doesn’t hurt to ask a few questions, does it?’

  *

  The hope in Jess’s eyes stayed with Holly long after she had left them, walking through the Market Place with her horse trotting neatly beside her, one hand on his withers and chatting away to him, nineteen to the dozen.

  ‘Lavinia is not going to be happy,’ said Elsie gleefully, her penchant for winding up the yummy mummies of Larkford well established. ‘But I have to say that it’s got to be worth it, just to see that young lass looking so happy again.’

  Holly didn’t comment, knowing exactly who would bear the brunt of Lavinia’s displeasure. But maybe if she was intent on picking her battles, actually making a difference, then there was no better place to start than with Banana? Tiny horses and stroppy, social-climbing mothers first, secretive pensioners second. And then, only then, Holly decided, would she have the mental bandwidth in place to tackle her own dilemmas of duality.

  ‘What’s with this habit in Larkford of making everything miniature?’ Connor said, as he ambled towards them with a smile. ‘I’m supposed to be buying some goats, and they’re all tiny as well. Beginner goats, according to the lady vet I spoke to on the phone. She seemed pretty sceptical about me coping with anything bigger.’ He paused, looking a little crestfallen for a moment. ‘She was kind of bossy and outspoken about it actually.’

  Holly tried not to stare, her medical acuity still on high alert after their conversation earlier. ‘That’s just Kitty’s way,’ she said reassuringly. ‘She’s just great, actually, although I’m absolutely convinced she prefers animals to people.’

  Connor gave her a sideways look. ‘Don’t we all?’ he said drily.

  ‘Oh well, if that’s the case, you should take Nineteen back to the farm with you,’ Elsie said, glancing disdainfully at the blooming stain on her cream suede pumps. ‘He’s rather outgrown his welcome as a house guest.’

  Holly was about to protest. After all, Nineteen was her pig, not Elsie’s, until she saw the logic in the situation: a happy home for her overgrown porker and the perfect excuse to check in on Connor once in a while. ‘Seriously?’ said Holly. ‘Would you have him to stay? I can’t give him to you because Taffy would never forgive me – they’ve bonded, apparently. But Nineteen’s desperate for a little room to roam.’

  Connor shrugged, unfazed. ‘He can live in the orchard – apples and pears as far as his little porky eye can see.’

  ‘Could he really?’ Holly asked, rather touched by his instant acquiescence. ‘He’d seriously love that; he adores fruit and it would appease my guilty conscience as well. One minute he’s on the sofa by the Aga and the next he’s out on his ear.’

  Connor just shrugged again. ‘It’s fine. Really.’

  ‘Oh, but you’ll need a pig licence,’ Holly remembered with a frown.

  ‘Already got one,’ said Connor, surprising her. ‘I seem to have gained a reputation as a soft touch. Every Tom, Dick and Harry has been turning up at the farmyard with their ill-advised pets hoping I’ll add them to my menagerie. I’ve already gained three Vietnamese pot-bellied pigs from the Wynters. Hence the licence.’ He gave a tired smile. ‘Nineteen will fit right in.’

  As he walked away, Holly had to restrain herself from running after him and giving him a hug. All the animals in Larkford weren’t going to fill the hole in Connor’s life, and she couldn’t help but feel that any enthusiasm for his new farming venture was simply a veneer applied for their benefit. Or possibly for his own? At this point it was difficult to tell.

  ‘All the fresh air in the world, but he’s still drowning, isn’t he?’ said Elsie quietly, tucking her arm through Holly’s as his slight figure grew smaller in the distance.

  Chapter 20

  ‘Come on, seriously, settle down now. We have an awful lot to discuss and a full clinic after this.’ Dan banged his hand on the table in the doctors’ lounge, in yet another futile attempt to bring their weekly meeting to order. ‘And if the forecast is anything to go by, we might need to implement a few emergency cover shifts too. Guys?’

  Taffy stuffed two fingers in his mouth and whistled and the room fell instantly silent. Dan wasn’t quite sure whether
to be impressed or annoyed. Obviously his authority had taken quite the dent of late and now, seemingly, his unofficial role as Senior Partner gave him no guarantee of his team’s undivided attention.

  ‘Okay then,’ he said, projecting his voice and adjusting his posture, calling on all his army training to get his troops back in line. ‘Let’s start with the basics, shall we, before we all get distracted by the promise of a few inches of snow? Can I remind you all that there’s to be no fraternising with the patients – Jason, that includes you.’

  Jason just looked innocently at him. ‘It doesn’t count as fraternising if it’s same-sex friendships, does it?’

  ‘It does if we’re still putting you down as “undecided” on that front,’ Taffy cut in apologetically, earning himself a stern look from Dan.

  ‘What about Tilly, then?’ said Jason grumpily. ‘She’s allowed to “counsel” all these students in Big Bertha and we’re all supposed to pretend that they aren’t completely in lurve with her?’

  ‘Ah, but I’m not sleeping with them all, now am I?’ Tilly fought back.

  ‘Not all of them,’ Jason agreed, giving her a wink.

  Tilly shrugged. ‘Obviously I’m not sleeping with any of them, but I can’t help it if they happen to have excellent taste.’

  The two of them together seemed to be dead-set on bringing The Practice into disrepute and their libidos were in danger of being itemised on their professional insurance docket.

  ‘Give it a rest, Tilly,’ said Dan tiredly, feeling the stress tighten his face and wondering how Alice’s seemingly bright, educated friend could be quite so dim when it came to diplomacy.

  ‘Well, to be fair,’ said Jade, ‘it’s harder for the nurses than the doctors. Most of you are all coupled up, or don’t want to be. We still have our lives to lead and Larkford isn’t exactly a big gene pool, if you know what I mean?’

  ‘You’ve just run out of fresh meat,’ countered Jason with a grin, receiving a custard cream to the forehead in retaliation. Jade’s aim was almost impressive.

  Dan banged his hand so hard on the table that all their glasses and mugs leapt into the air. ‘Does this sound like the kind of conversation that’s appropriate at a Practice Meeting to you?’ He glared around the table at the culprits.

  ‘Let’s take a look at the agenda,’ said Grace into the uncomfortable silence that fell. ‘Dan?’

  Dan nodded, taking a deep breath and wondering when their team had begun taking such liberties. ‘Item one,’ he began.

  *

  ‘There you are,’ said Grace, pushing open the door to the car park and stepping out beside him, a cup of tea in her hand. ‘Do you want to talk about it?’

  Dan shook his head but accepted the warm drink gratefully. That was the thing about storming out of a meeting, especially one where you were supposed to be in control; there wasn’t really time to sort out jumpers and warm drinks. ‘When did it get so . . . ?’ Dan asked helplessly. ‘It’s like feeding time at the zoo in there. The left hand doesn’t know what the right hand’s doing and the chain of command is just falling apart.’

  Grace nodded. ‘Don’t let’s kid ourselves that this is new, though. It’s been building for months.’

  Dan frowned. ‘Is this where you give me a lecture about being in denial again?’

  ‘If you like,’ said Grace with a shrug. ‘But we both know you won’t listen.’

  Dan sipped the tea to buy himself a moment to think, the steam rising and bathing his face in warmth. ‘And you still think this is because we’re not leading from the front, Taffy and I?’

  ‘Pretty much,’ said Grace quietly, shuffling her feet and shivering. ‘I know it’s not easy, but if you two want any authority around here, then you might need to cut back on playing silly buggers at work. They’re a young team and they don’t necessarily know how to change gears – one minute you’re all betting and playing Operation and hooning around the car park, the next you’re being their boss, expecting their instant respect, and telling them what to do.’

  ‘But that was never a factor before,’ Dan protested, almost half-hearted in his dissent now, Grace’s point having been so firmly illustrated by that disastrous meeting.

  ‘It wasn’t just you and Taffy running the show before. Like it or not, Holly brought balance. Even when you two were arsing about, she was the voice of reason. I can’t be that, because I’m the Practice Manager. I’m not a partner.’

  Dan nodded. ‘And I suppose Alice is still too young herself to have any authority?’

  ‘And she’s not a partner,’ Grace repeated patiently.

  Dan sighed. ‘Between you and me, I do wonder what we’re doing having Tilly on staff. It’s so perfectly obvious she doesn’t want to be here. I mean, she’s a decent doctor, but she’s clearly bored by the day-to-day. I see her struggling to find empathy with her patients, while her screen saver is still that landmine campaign. It’s almost as though she’s sending the patients a message that their issues don’t really count.’

  ‘What are you suggesting?’ Grace asked.

  ‘I honestly don’t know. She’s Holly’s hire, Alice’s best friend. I’m not really sure it’s my call to make,’ Dan said.

  ‘Well, it is, actually. You’re a partner; you can start the conversation at the very least.’

  Dan balanced his mug on the wall beside the half dozen others that had accrued of late. ‘Come here, you,’ he said, pulling her into a hug. ‘Where would I be without you?’

  Grace didn’t reply, merely folding herself into his arms. He knew, though, that she had plenty to say; she just sometimes chose to let him work things out by himself. Right now, that equation seemed to suggest that fun and responsibility at work ran in inverse proportion.

  ‘I wish Holly would come back,’ he said after a moment, already trying to find a way to wriggle out of the difficult choices in his future.

  ‘Ask her,’ said Grace against his chest.

  ‘Oh no, I couldn’t. It would be too much pressure. Taffy’s been pretty clear about that,’ Dan replied.

  ‘And since when is Taffy Holly’s gatekeeper?’ Grace huffed, pushing herself out of his embrace and looking thoroughly peeved. ‘She’s a professional. She’s a mother, yes, but she knows her own mind and from where I’m standing, she’s putting all the wheels in motion to return to work. All the forms are in from the CCG, and their new nanny has already started. Did you think that was just so Holly could go out for lunch more often?’ she asked incredulously, shoving her hands angrily into her pockets.

  ‘You seem to feel pretty strongly about this,’ Dan said, furrowing his brow and wondering where his comfort zone lay. Maybe that would explain why he was dithering so uncharacteristically. ‘I just can’t see how to move forward without ruffling somebody’s feathers along the way,’ he explained.

  ‘Well,’ exhaled Grace. ‘You can’t run a business properly if you spend all your time worrying about offending people. And you can’t be a role model, if you’re still behaving like a teenager yourself.’

  Dan paused, trying not to take offence at Grace’s outburst. After all, wasn’t she supposed to be on his side, instead of shooting him down? ‘Is this about having kids?’ he asked tentatively.

  ‘You defeat me,’ Grace said tiredly, shaking her head. ‘Not every conversation we have is about having kids. Not every thought I have is about having kids. That’s your filter, Dan.’ She shoved him angrily away.

  ‘But you can see why I might think that? I mean, it’s obvious you don’t want a baby, so now you’re criticising me for being too immature to be a dad!’ Dan replied tightly.

  ‘You’re a moron,’ said Grace, throwing up her hands in despair. ‘You’re pushing against an open door, but part of parenting is compromise. You want to have a baby together? You know I’m in. I just think that there is more than one way to become a parent and it would be nice if we could consider options that I’m comfortable with too.’

  ‘What about me? What abou
t what I feel comfortable with?’ Dan protested.

  Grace paused. ‘Do you know, maybe you were right just now. I wasn’t talking about kids, but I may as well have been. If you want to be a dad, then grow up, and start acting like one. Because for the record, the parenting doesn’t just start on the day the baby’s born. So yes, be a grown-up. Be a partner – not just at work, but at home with me too. Talk to the women in your life and stop assuming that you and Taffy Jones can work out what exactly is “good for us” over a pint at the pub. Nothing in life that is ever worth having comes easily, Dan. So find out what you really want and come back to me. How’s that for advice?’

  Dan watched as Grace stormed back into the building and felt a wave of nausea hit the back of his throat. What the hell was he doing? Was this what self-sabotage looked like?

  Of all the things in his life that truly mattered, surely his work and his relationship with Grace should take priority? But somehow, they were both throwing up obstacles that he didn’t have the reserves to handle right now.

  Arsing about with his mate was easier.

  It wasn’t constructive, or sensible half the time, but it was definitely less of a challenge.

  *

  Dan slipped back into the building and deliberately avoided the doctors’ lounge. He wasn’t in the mood for any more confrontation today and if he saw Tilly Campbell in his current frame of mind, he couldn’t trust himself not to fire her on the spot. If she wanted to be off saving the world, then maybe that’s what she should do. Dan was more interested in saving this particular section of it.

  He pushed open the door to his consulting room and stopped dead.

  ‘Tilly,’ he said warily. ‘Can I help you with something?’

  She nodded. ‘It’s one of my patients, actually. But I also wanted to apologise. I know I haven’t exactly been the perfect employee recently, but I want you to know that I’m working on it.’

  ‘Okay,’ said Dan simply, not entirely believing the spiel, but willing to give her the benefit of the doubt one last time. Again, the path of least resistance.